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The best communication will make the magic of increased success because you will generate a dynamic to sell and succeed. Communication is about a chain reaction that starts inside you and creates one inside the person you communicate with, through their preferred learning routes, to bring about a conclusion that meets both your needs.

NLP understands and analyses these processes in a systematic way. Using the NLP way will give an advantage and a way to use the process to modify behaviour and response.

Your brain deals with stimuli in up to three ways which affects your map of the territory and how you see the world.

DELETION

Deletion happens when you are not able to respond to all the relevant messages in your brain so you ignore some or all of them. This is like a mad academic who gets so tied up in his or her work that they go to work wearing their slippers.

DISTORTION

Distortion happens when you misinterpret information coming into your mind through your senses. Being in love is a good example when everything looks rosy even when it isn’t really like that at all. You can distort the meaning of another persons words or action and completely miss the point of what they mean to say or do.

GENERALISATION

Generalisation happens when you use what you already know and transfer those conclusions to fit to other circumstances you have not deal with before. Generalisations can be very helpful because they give you a map of the world that can be used in new situations. If you did not generalise every new word you came across would have to be spelt out each time you read a book.

MAKING SENSE OF THE WORLD

The beliefs you and your clients hold about the world are generalisations and you will delete and distort in the best way you can to make sense of what you receive and learn. In other words your generalisations can make you less likely to trust or accept someone or something with which you are not familiar.

The reason people who are exposed to the same information and stimulation do not react in the same way is because we all delete, distort and generalise in our own unique way, based on our beliefs, values, attitudes, memories and decisions.

We all use unconscious filters to interpret what we become aware of and our choices will not be either/or, but will be a sliding scale and fuzzy response to facts.

Now that we have seen how incoming information can be changed for us and our clients we will look at our reasons for seeing things the way we do.

VALUES

Our values are learned, from our parents, our environment, peers and friends. Values can be what motivates you to do something or what stops you in your tracks. They are the factors that separate right from wrong, good from bad. They influence how you delete, distort and generalise and are in a hierarchy, with the most important right at the top. Examples of values may be happiness, health, wealth, honesty, friendships, job satisfaction.

BELIEFS

Beliefs can be very powerful and can move you to the heights of success or the depths of failure. Henry Ford said it right in when he told us

‘Whether you believe you can or whether you can’t….you’re right!‘

You form beliefs in unconscious ways so that if someone you respect tells you that you are very good at something you are likely to believe them, just as much as if they said you are not good. Beliefs can start from very small beginnings and can become valid and concrete very quickly. Quite often they can be self-fulfilling, which can means you make them come true.

ATTITUDES

Your way of thinking about something is your attitude, so it can be how you are feeling or your state of mind. It is formed from a number of beliefs, values and opinions and it can be hard to change an attitude once you have adopted it. Your attitude will affect how you behave in certain situations and the difference between a positive and negative attitude can make a huge difference to the way you feel and come over to others.

MEMORIES

Memories from your past can affect your present and future and determine how you behave in a particular circumstance. Quite often memories can get confused and changed in order and importance, which can lead to emotions that do not represent your true state of mind.

DECISIONS

Decisions are closely linked to memories and affect all parts of your life. You can make limiting decisions which can remove possibilities and options, like ‘I can’t spell’ or ‘I can’t lose weight’. As you develop and grow your values may change and that can make you re-visit or re-assess decisions that are holding you back.

THE WAY FORWARD

Remember we said that we use unconscious filters to interpret our experiences, but you do not have to work not knowing what is in your unconscious mind. With a level of awareness you can take control of how you communicate with people and make the magic of increased success.

To be an effective communicator you need to know your own preferred style of communication, as visual, auditory or touching/feeling and be able to practice and adapt to the preferences of your clients. Many business people tend to use a very factual style to communicate, but when you speak with passion and engage all your senses it will enrich your presentation skills, make you a much more interesting person to listen to, and you will be able to reach the parts of your clients that make them respond and be influenced by you and what you say.

NEXT WEEK

Next week I hope to be talking with Ari Galper who has a very special talent in teaching salesmen to work in a way that does not theaten clients. His way takes the fear out of selling which is something we all know about.

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The best communication will make the magic of increased success work for you.

Tags:   Communication · deletion · distortion · generalisation · nlpNo Comments