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The complete Rapport building that will win more orders is your call to action. Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of unconscious human interaction.

It is having the same perspective, being in “sync” and on the same “wavelength” as the person with whom you are talking.

NLP has a lot say about how to build that interaction and we will look at ways to improve, upgrade, even to break rapport when necessary.

Rapport is about making a 2 way connection and you know when you have made that connection because there is a feeling of trust and respect, no matter how different you may be and this can lead to action.

It can be defined as an empathy and trust, which is the foundation of all good relations. Experience teaches us that rapport is built more on the relational level than on content – through gestures, voice tone, gaze, speech and even pauses. The parameters and mechanisms involved in this process are so detailed and simultaneously taking place that they escape full control by the conscious mind.

7 WAYS TO SHARPEN YOUR RAPPORT WITH A CLIENT

There are 7 ways to make this happen.

1. Take a genuine interest in finding out what is important to your client. Start to understand them rather than expecting them to understand you first.

2. Pick up on words they use, favourite phrases and ways of speaking and try to build these subtly into your own conversation.

3. Notice how your client likes to handle information. Do they like to know lots of details or just the big picture. As you speak feed back these portions in the same way as they handle them.

4. Notice their breathing rate and bring yours into unison with them.

5. Listen and look out for what they are trying to achieve, their underlying aim rather than just what they say. Remember the presupposition that says the client always makes the best choice they can, given their map of the world.

6. Adopt a similar way of standing or sitting to your client and reflect their body language, gestures, voice tone and speed of talking.

7. Respect your client’s time, energy, favourite people and money. They are all important issues for them.

COMMUNICATION

It is surprising to hear that in communication being received or responded to is in these proportions:

7% actual words spoken

38% quality of the voice

55% body language

So you can see it is not as important what you say as it is in what tone and with what gestures you say it.

Remember also every behaviour you, I and everyone else engages in, has a positive intention behind it and the meaning of your communication is the response you get. When you are in rapport with someone you can disagree with what they say and still offer them respect. Everyone is a unique individual and it is quite possible to differ in beliefs and values as you remember from the logical levels.

PACING & INFLUENCING YOUR CLIENT

In order to influence a client you have to move at the same rate as they do. Imagine you are trying to jump on to a moving train, the only way to do it is to run alongside the train and when your speeds match you can get on board, but until that time you are moving along at different rates. It is the same when you are talking with a client because you need to listen, acknowledge, understand where they are coming from and be patient while you do it. With that pacing you will be able to pick up their speed of speaking, vocabulary and behaviours and with this you will start to lead them towards where you want them to be. This takes practice and patience and will become something that makes your work a lot more effective and rewarding.

It is usual once you have understood and adapted to the pace of your customer that you will find something small on which you both agree. From this beginning you can start a process of moving on to other issues and topics each time understanding enough of your customer’s pace and attitudes to know they will agree with what you propose. In this way you can lead your customer to an agreement and commitment in line with what you are looking for. This will not normally happen with a first meeting, but once you have started the process you can periodically check to make sure agreements previously made are still valid and move on to further and bigger agreements.

PHONE COMMUNICATION

When you are communicating with your client by phone you do not have the same feedback as in face to face meetings. Here are 10 ways you can develop rapport over the phone and in teleconferences.

1. Have a clear line so you can hear and be heard.

2. Make sure you have an agenda and outcomes you are looking for and where possible agree this with the client.

3. Smile as you speak and that will be heard by your client.

4. Speak more slowly than you would face to face.

5. Use people’s names more than you would in person. At the end of the call thank them for their time and contribution.

6. Listen to the language of the person or people you are talking with. Try and work out if they use visual, auditory or feelings-based language and match your style to theirs.

7. Make sure you have their attention before you make a point. You can use various phrases like ‘I would just like to add something here….’

8. As you listen try to have a picture of the person you are speaking to in your mind.

9. Summarise and check understanding of points and decisions as you move through your call. Clients will often remember only part of what you say, so keep your mind clear.

10. End with an agreement on what to do next.

BREAKING RAPPORT

At some point you may wish to break the rapport with a client to emphasise a point or change a situation away from a particular direction or outcome. To do this you use an action, tone, or phrase that does not match with the way they speak or act. There is a useful phrase ‘No thank you’ that can be used effectively, even though it may be hard to say.

At times you may feel overloaded with information and need time to think through before continuing. Maybe you are tired and feel you have done enough for this meeting.

Someone else may interrupt you with something more important.

You may have got yourself into a subject you do not want to discuss.

At the point of closing a deal you may momentarily break connection and walk away as the client signs the paperwork alone, which may serve to preserve the rapport for the next instalment.

It is a useful skill to be able to break rapport.

LITTLE WORDS

Little words can have a big impact in rapport. When you use the word ‘but’ people will generally remember what it is you say next because you focus attention and using the word ‘and’ helps people remember what came before and after.

I hope you can see that in any contact with your client you will try and establish or re-establish a level of rapport that makes progress possible. It takes a lot of practice to understand and use the techniques of pacing and mirroring your client, but it is true that people find it most easy to get on with those like themselves. So using this approach will help you become more like your client and be able to influence them more effectively.

Next week we will be talking about how we communicate, how when someone behaves in a certain way to us. What we feel inside leads to what we do, which then causes a chain reaction in the person you are talking to and the cycle continues. Please make sure you are subscribed to the RSS feed and you will be able to read the post.

The complete rapport building that will win more orders is now something you can start to work on and improve the way you relate to clients.

Tags:   breaking rapport · Communication · nlp · pacing · Rapport · rapport building2 Comments